


Defining the Relationship

by Stephquiem



Series: Brain Trust [4]
Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Alternate Universe, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Interspecies Relationship(s), M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-03 06:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11526900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stephquiem/pseuds/Stephquiem
Summary: When the world is falling apart around you, you have to find something to hold onto and make peace before the end of the world.





	Defining the Relationship

"We should go somewhere. The two of us."

Ben looked up at me. He was reading, like he usually was when I found him. I didn't have a library card before Priton started trying to buy his way into Ben's good graces with books, but now I'd been to the local library so many times at least one of the librarians knew my name. Funny how things work out, I guess. I didn't mind things like this--changes to my day-to-day life that were only partially in my control. It made Ben happy, which made Priton happy, and when Priton was happy he antagonized everyone else less.

Ben's expressions were always hard to read, but if you spent enough time with him, you could get good at translating the little facial twitches into something decipherable. Right now, the line between his brows was giving off a distinctly bemused vibe.

"Jenny?" Ben clarified. I hummed in response. He sighed. "I'm pretty sure there's nowhere I can go."

"You drove all the way to Colorado to get me."

"I know, but that's..." Ben gestured with the hand that wasn't currently holding his book. "I mean, yeah, if we want to travel a couple hours to go somewhere, sure."

I'd found Ben in one of his favorite spots to retreat to when he wanted to be alone--or at least, I assumed that's why he spent time in empty offices after hours. There weren't a lot of places to find privacy at Brain Trust HQ. That said, he'd never turned me away if I came looking for him on my own, like I was now, when Priton was feeding. He didn't really turn _Priton_ away, either, but Priton had the knack for knowing when Ben was reaching the end of his rope. I was not nearly as good at it, but I tried. 

I leaned my elbows on the back of a chair. "You're right," I said. "But maybe we could go somewhere for a couple days. It's never just you and me." 

The whole situation was  _strange,_ but that was probably to be expected, I guess. No one wanted to use any official terms for what was going on here--was it "dating" if "dates" involved sitting together quietly in a far flung corner of HQ? Or arguing. Priton and Ben were very good at arguing, even when they were getting along--but something was happening. I thought Priton might have just been very happy with things exactly as they were. No one was angry with anyone else. Or at least, we'd all agreed that the past belonged in the past. I wasn't sure how well  _that_ would work in the long run, but if the two of them wanted to pretend for awhile, I wasn't going to argue. I just hoped it didn't all boil over. 

Ben's mouth turned down a little at the edges. "We could," he said. He stared off somewhere past my shoulder. He might have been trying to work something out in his head. I waited. "Priton probably wouldn't appreciate being left alone for so long."

"No," I conceded. "He wouldn't. But if we wanted to and talked to him about it, I don't think he'd argue." Ben glanced back at me. His left eyebrow twitched skeptically. I smiled. "He'd save all his grumbling for after. But you know how he is. Complaining is one of his favorite things."

Ben huffed a laugh. "That's true." He glanced down at the book in his hands, perhaps to note the page, then closed it. "But you're right. We only really talk to each other like this."

"I like being an active participant in my relationships," I quipped. That made Ben's cheeks redden, predictably, but he didn't correct me. It felt like when Ben called me Priton's girlfriend and Priton didn't argue. I don't think I was supposed to know he did that, but Ben had let it slip once.

I did wonder sometimes, though, if Ben would have let Priton as close as he did if he'd been wearing a guy's face. Not that they _did_ anything--Priton's preferred mode of showing affection was physical proximity. Holding hands if he was feeling particularly amorous. At first I'd thought maybe it was because he was an alien--not that he didn't understand how humans did things, because between Ben and I, surely he could  _figure it out,_ but I could understand a natural hesitance towards, you know, a completely different species. But no, I think it was just how Priton was.

Which was probably best, honestly, because consent was  _complicated._  And my relationship to Ben was something between "friend's significant other" and "casual dating partner" except neither of those really fit, either. We needed this. If we were going to be buddies, that was fine, but then I wanted to be  _actual buddies._ Not polite acquaintances.

 "Okay," Ben finally said. "Where do you want to go?"

* * *

 

<Why would you drive all the way to Anaheim if you're not going to Disney Land?>

We were back in our room, packing. We had moved, permanently, into a room on the top floor, though segregated from the newly freed contingent of temporary residents. We had officially run out of room on B1, which was... worrying. Very worrying. The regular organization-wide bulletins we received were now peppered with suggestions about relocation and requesting volunteers for a new office geared specifically toward finding jobs and housing for those of us who could leave at any time.

Our room was technically double-occupancy, but we didn't have a roommate yet, so Priton and I had taken to using the second bed as storage. Probably a terrible habit to get into, since we were definitely getting a roommate at some point, but at the moment it was too convenient not to cross the imaginary line that divided the room in two. We had brought too much stuff. When Ben had seen it, he'd said we had more than he'd ever owned. Priton assured me that was a gross exaggeration, but still. We needed to downsize.

<If you want to get a real job, maybe we can one day afford the admission price.> I bent forward to pick up a shirt that I was pretty sure Priton had dropped there. I wasn't usually so messy. We had fallen into a time share-esque kind of arrangement. Neither of us liked relinquishing all control, all the time, or feeling like passengers in our body. It was awkward and weird, and had nearly killed us one time when I had missed a step on the stairs and Priton had instinctively tried to stop us from falling. I'd had a bruise on my hip for a week, which I guess was better than some of the alternatives.

<We should probably get a real job anyway,> Priton said, reluctantly. <How much money do we have after this?>

<Like three bucks.> Our last paycheck stretched a lot farther when we didn't have rent or need groceries, but it didn't stretch for six months. Birthday money from my parents had helped, kind of, but that had been two months ago. We were going to die of boredom sooner rather than later. Priton was insufferable when he was bored.

Priton grunted, probably in response to my unspoken thought. <I'll see what I can find.>

* * *

 

Ben met me at the side door, carrying his bag and a cooler, and wearing a knitted hat and sunglasses. I'd seen the hat and glasses before, but they looked a lot less comfortable in the middle of summer than they had in February.

"We've corrupted you into a life of crime," I noted, pushing open the door and exiting the building.

"I borrowed all this," Ben said defensively. "Unlike some people, I _ask_ first before taking people's things."

He held out the cooler to me, and I took it from him. It was one of those small ones that you could carry around by the handle. It was surprisingly lukewarm to the touch. When I opened the lid, there was no ice inside, just a couple bags of chips and two water bottles. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"We don't have an ice maker," Ben said with a shrug.

"Uh-huh." I closed the cooler and led the way to the parking garage. When we reached where my car was stowed, I set the cooler in the back and climbed into the driver's seat. Ben was already in the car, and had peeled his hat off to wipe at his brow. I turned on the air conditioning for him. "So, tell me honestly," I said, eyeing the hat that was being stuck back on Ben's head, and the sunglasses that were the wrong shape for his face. "I've always wondered. Did you room with Nick because you knew Priton hated him?"

Ben's expression was as impassive as always. "You know there's no way to have control over that."

"Uh-huh. Just a coincidence then, I bet."

"Of course." Ben was quiet for a moment, but then he said, "It didn't do anything to deter him, anyway."

It was a bit over three hours to Anaheim with no traffic, so naturally it took about twice as long to get there. We passed the time talking. I asked Ben about teaching. 

"History's so complex, you know? We don't always know the full story--we might never know the full story about some things--and there's always more things to uncover." It was the most animated I'd ever seen him, and it made me smile. Then he said, "It got a little... uncomfortable sometimes, though. Teaching things like the Civil War to a classroom that was half made up of literal slaves."

I felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was easy sometimes to forget the reality for most people when mine was comparatively so easy. "Was it really that many?"

"Give or take. It was more than a year ago now, though." I knew what he was saying. I looked at Ben. We were far enough out of Santa Barbara that he'd pulled his hat off, but he kept the sunglasses on. I looked away again. Maybe it was good that we were doing this now. Who knew how long it would be a possibility.

After a silent moment, Ben said, "You're into carpentry and stuff, right? How'd you get into that?"

I smiled, despite myself. "So, my brother's five years older than me. My parents got pregnant right away with him and then for some reason they had so much trouble having a second kid. By the time I finally came along, I think they were just so happy that it happened, they didn't really care what I wanted to play with. Like, they weren't going to force Barbies on me if I wasn't into them." I actually didn't mind Barbies, and had liked the ones bought by well-meaning relatives or ones I played with at friends' houses fine. They just weren't my favorite. "At the same time, Noah had all these old toys. Lincoln logs and legos and other things, but those were my favorites, and I got my hands on them when my brother decided he was too old for them." 

When I looked in Ben's direction, I could see the corner of his mouth twitching. "Brothers are good for some things," he said. It was hard to read his tone, but I saw a flash of teeth like a grin. I remembered suddenly that Ben had a sister.

"Yeah." I was quiet then, looking at the road ahead of us. Traffic was slowing down. Again. I felt Ben's eyes on me after a few moments of silence, expectant. I thought, anyway. "My parents thought I was going to be an architect," I told him at last. "But I always liked building things more than I liked designing them." 

Ben made a thoughtful noise. "Were they disappointed?"

"No," I said, immediately. "Well--I don't know, maybe. But they never say anything about it."

* * *

 

We arrived at an awkward time--too early to stop for the night, too late to do anything interesting before places closed. We stopped at In-N-Out because Ben hadn't been since before he was infested. We ate in the car and talked about how weird it was that Yeerks tasted the same food as their host and still somehow had differing preferences. I'd always assumed that where our tastes differed, Priton's must have aligned with Ben's, but they didn't always line up either.

"He threw out all my coffee after having one sip," Ben told me.

"He tried that with me, but my roommate would've killed him. I haven't had any in at least a year." Almost in unison, we turned our heads to stare longingly at the Starbucks across the street. I hadn't budgeted for Starbucks. I couldn't decide if that was a testament to how broke we were or to how ridiculous their prices were. Maybe both. "We should find a hotel," I said at last. Ben made a sound of agreement. "One with a coffee maker."

"God,  _yes._ "

* * *

 

I slid back into the driver's seat with a sigh. Ben looked up from the pile of printouts I'd gotten from the library. They were all suggestions for free things to do in and around Anaheim. Technically we had a printer at HQ. Somehow it never seemed to work. Honestly, the purpose of going to Anaheim, as opposed to anywhere else, was mostly its relative proximity--close, but not _too_ close--and we'd both been at some point, albeit not recently. It was the spot on the map we both felt even minorly drawn to.

When we'd passed signs for Disney, I'd pointed them out and said, "Priton is so disappointed in us for not going."

"He can plan the next trip," Ben said. 

"Can you imagine Priton at Disney, though?"

Somehow I thought Priton wouldn't mind that we bonded through mocking him. We didn't mean it badly, anyway.

We had stopped for the night now, after driving around looking for a vacancy sign at a place that looked both cheap and like we wouldn't get murdered there. 

"I have good news and bad news," I said. "The good news is, they've got a complementary breakfast. Bad news is, the cheapest room they have available's only got one bed." I let that hang for a second. "I mean. I don't mind if you don't mind."

Ben shrugged. He moved the papers he was holding to one hand and unhooked his seat belt. "We've shared a brain parasite, sharing a bed seems pretty tame."

"Cool."

The room was your pretty standard cheap hotel room. A bed, a nightstand, a chair. When I peaked in the bathroom, there was just a shower stall with no tub. We couldn't really be afford to be too picky, and at least it was clean.

We tried to watch TV for awhile, but we were both so out of the loop that even the shows we knew we couldn't follow. We switched to the news, and watched a news story about some hooligans trying to cause a panic with an alien invasion hoax on the radio. Very War of the Worlds. The police were very unamused by the Orson Welles wannabes. We turned the TV off after that.

Later, when I came out of the bathroom, dressed for bed, Ben was already under the sheets, but sitting up with his back against the headboard. His expression was surprisingly pensive. 

"What's wrong?" I asked as I crossed the room to get into bed on the other side.

"The usual," he said. I settled in next to him and waited for an explanation. After a moment, Ben said, "I doubt anyone was going to buy that radio broadcast. The whole thing's been done before. Famously."

"Not everybody's heard about that," I said, without much conviction.

"No," Ben agreed. "But it doesn't matter."

"No." I'd been leaning on my side to look at him, and now I rolled onto my back. I stared up at the ceiling. We'd left one of the bedside lamps on, and it cast strange shadows on the walls. "It's the end of the world as we know it," I quoted. I started off trying to sing it, but it soon faded half-heartedly. Ben didn't respond. I reached across the invisible divide between us and took his hand. He still didn't say anything, but he at least returned the pressure. "Probably dumb of us to feel bad about this, considering."

"Probably."

"Still."

"Yeah."

We were quiet for a long time. We'd started off on such a high note, I thought. Things were weird and a little uncomfortable, but Ben and I got along. We were still mostly connected by one curmudgeonly Yeerk, but it could have been a start. I thought of saying something to comfort us, that maybe the peace factions, of which Brain Trust wasn't the only one, would ultimately succeed in finding a balance. But even if we were perpetually suffering from a lack of space, we were still just a drop in the bucket. I didn't really want to think about futility. Instead, I asked, "So did any of those printouts appeal to you?"

**Author's Note:**

> The trend of me writing the next part before a previous one continues. (The last chapter of Symbiosis is coming, I promise.) This was mostly written because Ben and Jenny had precious little interaction on their own.
> 
> Jenny's initial assumption that Priton's sexual orientation is because he's an alien is bad and I felt bad writing it.


End file.
